Thong
by Be My Master
Summary: Lily and the rest of her friends have switched the Marauder's underwear with thongs. Really! Based on an idea I found on Tumblr from Maraudersnco. R&R, please!


**PoV James**

It was late when we got back to the dorms. Sirius, Remus, Peter, and I had just had detention. Remus was fuming, Sirius was talking softly to him, and Peter was just quietly laughing to himself.

"What's so funny?" I asked. "Why are you laughing?"

"Just… Snape's hair," he squeaked.

I let out a laugh, remembering his face when we had turned his hair bright pink. Remus had said pink wasn't his colour and turned it vomit green, but Sirius then turned it pastel blue. It was one of the better things we'd done to him, but not quite as good as when we'd charmed all of his clothes to simultaneously jump from his body in the middle of the Great Hall. That was good.

We got to our room at a quarter to midnight. Remus was still fuming.

"C'mon, Moony, I said. "What's the matter? Is it your time of the month?"

"If it were, you'd've had your face ripped off hours ago, Prongs," he snarked back at me.

"Okay," I said, raising my hands in defeat. I was too tired for a fight. "But, seriously, what's up?"

"It's nothing," Remus said, pulling off his jumper. "I'm just mad we got caught. It was fun, though, wasn't it?"

"It was," Sirius said, already stripped down to his socks.

"Oh, put some pants on!" Peter shouted. "I don't need to see that."

"TOO BAD!" Sirius yelled back, jumping up on his bed and swinging himself around.

"Sirius, dear, put some pants on," Remus said in his deadly calm voice.

Sirius looked down at his chest, pouting, and transformed into the big, black dog we all knew he was. He bounded from his bed to mine, wagging his tail and licking my face.

"Urg! Gross, Padfoot, get off!"

He leapt onto the floor and over to Remus, who just raised an eyebrow at him. Sirius let out a pathetic dog whine and went back to his bed. He nosed his way under his covers and transfigured back to himself. He lied on his stomach, his head where his feet normally were.

"You're all no fun," he yawned.

"Just go to sleep!" Peter said, already in his pajamas.

Remus chuckled a little, scratching at a new cut. He continued to scratch at it even as he turned off the lights and got into bed.

"Stop it," Sirius said.

"If it's itchy, it might be infected," Peter said tiredly. "You might want to get it checked out."

"It's itchy because it's healing," Remus mumbled, burrowing deep into his blanket. "G'night."

"G'night," we chorused.

A few hours later, I was awoken to the muffled sounds of giggles and the shuffle of feet. I propped myself up on my elbows, trying to get a better look at what was going on. Everything was blurry without my glasses.

"Remus?" I asked tiredly.

"Ummhmm?" came a response. It sounded like Remus, but a little bit higher pitched.

"Ch'doin'?"

"Just… uh… going to the loo," he said.

"Okay," I mumbled, falling back onto my pillows.

I was asleep again in seconds.

It was Sirius who first woke up to find what had happened.

"James Potter, if you have done this to have a laugh, ha ha, now give me back my pants," he grumbled, sitting on his bed, duvet scrunched around his waist.

"What?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and reaching for my glasses. "Done what?"

"What do you think?" Remus asked, holding up the object in question.

It was a pink, satin, lacy thong.

"Well, Remus, I had my queries that you were of the homosexual nature, but I didn't think it'd go that far," I joked, sitting up on in my bed.

"Fuck off," he said, throwing the offending piece of underwear at me.

"Seriously, what did you do, James?" Peter asked, scavenging through his trunk. "All of my pants are gone."

"I didn't do anything!" I said, reaching to open my own trunk. It was also devoid of my shorts, having only thongs instead.

Groaning, I put my head in my hands, digging the heels of my palms into my eyes.

"What?" Sirius asked.

"You didn't get up to go to the bathroom last night, did you, Remus?" I asked.

"What?" he asked. "No."

"Merlin's bollocks," I sighed. "I think someone snuck in and switched them."

"Well, we're gonna have to do something, we have class in twenty minutes," Peter said.

"Just accio them!" Sirius said, pulling out his wand. "Accio, my pants!"

Nothing happened.

"Well, we're just going to have to wear them," Remus grumbled. "We don't want to be late to class again."

"I'm not wearing a thong," I said.

"Then don't wear them." Remus glared at me. "This is your fault, you know. If you hadn't picked on Snape, then Lily wouldn't have been mad and done this."

"My fault?" I yelled, jumping out of bed. "You changed his hair, too!"

"Cover yourself, James, please!" Peter shouted.

"Oh, shut it, Wormtail!" Sirius yelled. "Stop being a priss."

"Fine," Remus said, silencing us all. "We're all at fault. Let's just go to class."

Sirius picked up a thong with the tip of his wand. "Do we really have to wear these?"

"Go commando, if you feel like it," Peter said. "Just don't let your trousers fall down."

Sirius put on his trousers and shirt, opened the door, and walked into an invisible wall. "What the fuck?"

"I don't know," Remus said, walking over. He had put one of the thongs on, for he really didn't care this early in the morning. He walked forward to get out of the room and could. "It seems you have to wear them, boys."

Sirius, Peter, and I grumbled as we put them on, and walked to class. We separated at the Entrance Hall, going to our different classes. Come lunch time, I had successfully gone without anyone knowing that I was wearing a thong.

"Did you hear?" I heard someone whisper as I passed. "Remus Lupin was wearing a thong in muggle studies!"

"I heard that Sirius Black was wearing one, too!"

I quickened my pace.

"How does everyone know you two are wearing… you know…?" I asked as I sat down.

"Evan's pantsed me in muggle studies," Remus mumbled, stuffing toast into his mouth. "I'm so fucking hungry. What am I like?"

"It was the full moon a few nights ago, it's fine," Sirius said. "One of Lily's friends pulled my trousers down in Defense."

"Where's Pete?" I asked.

"He locked himself in the boys' loo when he heard what had happened to us," Sirius explained. "It's actually quite funny."

"Oh, James!" Lily shouted, coming into the Great Hall. "How are you?"

"Fine, Evan's," I shouted back.

She came to a stop behind me. "Well, stand up."

"Why?" I asked, turning to face her.

"So you can know what it feels like to be publicly humiliated," she said, still smiling.

"Is this about what we did to Snivilus?"

"Yes, it is about what you did to Severus."

I sighed and stood. "If you wanted to take my pants off, you could have just asked."

She blushed and scowled, her hands halting on their way to my belt loops.

"Well, go on then!" I said a little louder. "If you're gonna do this, do it now."

"Shut up, Potter, you're drawing attention," Lily hissed.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" I smiled again. "You wanted everyone to see Lily Evans take off James Potter's pant?"

"Shut it!" she yelled, slapping my shoulder.

"Not going to do it, then?" I asked. "Shall I do it for you?" I stepped up onto the bench and cupped my hands around my mouth. "Hey, everyone! I'm wearing a thong!" And I undid my zip, pushed my trousers to the seat and displayed myself. "Isn't it wonderful?"

"Hey!" Sirius said, hopping up onto the bench, too. "So am I!"

He took off his trousers as well, showing the black thong.

"You aren't doing this without me!" Remus said, jumping to join us. "You can't embarrass the Marauders!"

"You know it!" Sirius said.

We laughed as the rest of the Great Hall sat in shocked silence.


End file.
